When we were still in school, we have many friends, many dates, many parties and never-ending fun. Then we grow up and work and life became less fun but we now have colleagues who turn into friends and we still have many outings and and gathering with ex classmates.
Then we get attached and got hooked to dating with The One. Time with friends becomes lesser by a little. Then comes marriage. Ok, life is still more or less the same. The BIG change came when the kids came. When the first one came, you become totally lost and engaged in the world of newborns. What have I just done to myself? Gatherings? Outings? What? I can’t even have enough sleep and I can’t manage the newborn. I can’t manage my milk supply. I can’t manage myself. Some other time please.
And that some other time can easily take up a year. When you get the idea of a being a parent. Friends? We probably still ‘see’ them on Facebook, in chatrooms.
Then comes number 2 baby. The messed-up lifestyle restarts. The difficulty level between having 1 kid and 1 kid plus 1 newborn levels up by not 2 times, but 3 times. You now not only have to handle a newborn, you have to manage the newborn plus the tantrum throwing firstborn. Once again you find yourself thrown back into the darkness, trying to find a balance among all the things that you have to do, a mum, a wife, a child of your parents, a daughter-in-law and a career woman.
That easily takes another year of your time.
However, I’m lucky that among the first few years of my parenthood, I still have groups of friends from school and office who kept in close contact and provided mutual support for each other and we didn’t stop contacting each other after we became parents although we don’t meet up a lot. Family time is now taking up a large part of our time but everyone understands and so we just try our best to stay in contact through the various kinds of events and social media.
We attend each other’s weddings, married or not married. We hold gatherings, with kids or without kids and we choose kids friendly places to accommodate the kids. Attend each other’s kids first month, birthday parties. Because we want to make the effort.
When more and more kids came, we hold playdates for the kids and invite non mummies to join in just to catch up. It’s hard to meet up at nice restaurants because the group is growing and growing and growing. So outdoors gathering is a good idea.
Even when we are meeting for meals like hi-tea, and we had to bring the kids along, we choose a kid friendly place to meet.
Now we have even more things to share in life. All the how-to-s, where-to-s and what-to-s for the kids. Glad that everyone is still making that effort.
Hooray for Friends!